{HOMESICK}

Pridefully, I have worried the past few days that people may think that I left Uganda early because I was homesick. I have worried someone might think I am a "quitter." I have worried someone may think I was weak.

While none of these things are true, I did fight being homesick on a daily basis while being in Uganda. There were some days that I thought my heart might just burst because I missed those I love, so much.

Then, I was on my way to America and found myself in the middle of a breakdown. Unfortunately, it was the first of many.

When I have looked at girls in shorts that should be considered underwear, I have missed the modesty of Uganda. When I have been shivering when it actually isn't even cold, I have missed the perfect temperatures of Uganda. When I have heard Americans complaining and words of unthankfulness, I have missed the contentment of Ugandans. But mainly, when I think of the many people I grew to love so much, I miss them.

I guess you could say, that while I sit here in my air conditioned American home.... I feel a little homesick.

In the midst of this new type of homesickness, I was asked a question that made me laugh: "where do you live?" I didn't even know what to say.

"Well, I am staying at my parents house, but I am moving to a new city in a few weeks, but I have to be in Raleigh some and......"

In this limbo of life, amongst so many changes, it feels hard to even pin-point what home is.... yet still, I feel homesick.

..............................

2 Corinthians 5:1 says, "For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands."

In the past few days I have meditated on the fact that while I have been able to call Elizabeth City, Raleigh, Florida, and Uganda all my homes, none of them are home. This life is just temporary. 

Am I living that way? Am I living for eternity? 

Am I comfortable in this world, or am I living in a way that shows others I am living for somewhere greater. Is my daily goal to add to the Kingdom, or is it to people-please in this temporary home. 

Today, I am thankful for this strange feeling of discontentment. I am thankful for the reminder that I wasn't made for this place, but somewhere greater. Today, I am thankful for the reminder this is just my temporary home. 

xoxo, 

Jordan