All of these statements are sadly true, and often are a negative part of my life. Its funny, because typically you would think that being a people-person would be a good character trait. The problem is that I love people so much, that it is people themselves that I allow to define how happy I am.
Scenario 1: I can distinctly remember one specific night during sophomore year when I had nothing to do. Not one friend had called to see what I was doing or asked if I wanted to hang out. I remember sitting on my bed thinking, "It is a Friday night. I have nothing to do. My life absolutely sucks." And sadly, I truly believed this. The amount of loneliness that overwhelmed me, is pathetic.
Scenario 2: I am completely content in being single. For about 95 percent of the time, it is amazing. But then there is the other five percent. I have to admit, as I approach graduation, I often think, "wow, how in the world did I just go through four years of college without dating anyone?" I distinctly remember having this conversion recently: "I am fine being single, but what is wrong with me? I don't even really care if I date anyone or not, but it would be great if i felt like people, like, wanted to date me or something!" This is pathetic I realize. But, just real honest and humbly I admit, yes... I said this.
Scenario 3: I LOVE the people in my life. If you are my friend, you know it, and I have a ton of them. I hope that the people in my life would agree. I try hard to encourage, and uplift. I try to love, and support. I don't have many acquaintances; I really feel extremely close to almost all of my friends and family. Here is the problem. They are such a HUGE part of my life, that the second one of them hurts my feelings or disappoints me, I am crushed. I distinctly remember one specific time in my life when I had a friend disappoint me. As our friendship came to a end, I was completely devastated. I had put so much worth into that friendship in my life, that when that person disappointed me, my heart broke. Years later looking back, I feel ridiculous about how much I let it steal my joy. Not only that, but in the way I have let it happen over and over again.
All boys are stupid. Girls love to talk behind your back. No one is perfect. Everyone will disappoint you.
These statements are true, and even though I know it, every reminder hurts me BAD.
In a recently reminder that the people I love will disappoint me, I realized I am a "people-person." I am a person that lets people define my happiness.
I need to fix my life to where I am a "Jesus-person." How exciting my social life is shouldn't define me, but my prayer life should.
The way that people are or are not perusing relationships with me shouldn't define me, but the way that Jesus is perusing me, and the way I am responding, should.
The disappointments of people in my life shouldn't define me, but the knowledge that Jesus NEVER will, should.
Psalms 118:8 says," It is better to trust in the Lord, than to put confidence in man."
Psalm 32:10 says, "Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him."
When people fail you, let it be a reminder that God never will. Though I may lack trust in man, I am beyond thankful for a unfailing God who I will forever put my trust in!
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| Shout out to one of the best one of those people that I love! SO thankful for this fine friend, Lauren! ! |
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